Coping With PTSD From Iraq

Before the war:

I joined the Army in February of 2000. I was stationed at FT Carson, CO for 2 years. I went to Korea for 2 years. At the beginning of 2004 my active duty time was up and so I joined the Minnesota National Guard.

Six months later I was activated with a unit out of Cloquet, MN. This unit was primarily Air defense and so the unit was sent to FT Bliss TX to cross train to Motorized Infantry. We spent six months training for our mission. Four months into the training our unit was split into two companies. 60 to go to Saudi Arabia and guard some construction sites and the others were sent to Iraq. A small group of 40.

During the war:

Upon arrival to Iraq we were given the mission to guard the Baghdad oil refinery, to provide Quick Reaction Force to our sector and provide sector security which included daily 8 hour patrols. About our 4th month in we were given the mission to help train the Iraqi SF and Iraqi Special police. We would train them during the day and conduct raids during the night. I was a team leader of our rear gun truck which I was in charge of rear security and making sure my Iraqi counterparts knew how to set up security and engage the enemy. This is a picture of my buddy Nibras. He was on my team of rear security. We spent almost every day together. He was part of the Elite Commando's of the one of the most feared Iraqi Special forces units in Iraq. The Wolf Brigade. During this time we encountered more Improvised explosive devices than we could count. Small arms fire, car bombs, sniper fire and mortars.

My unit with only 40 Americans and 100 Iraqi's were responsible for the capture of over 1100 terrorists. And while this was going on we still were able to help the community with handing out food, water, school supplies and clothes. One of the hardest things my battalion had to go through was when our Battalion Commander was killed by a road side bomb. He was the highest ranking officer to be killed in combat in Iraq. Col Wood was a very good commander and wanted to do the right thing for the Iraqi people.

And one of the greatest things that I saw in Iraq came on a day in early summer. We had handed out school supplies a couple days earlier to a really poor neighborhood in the Dora Market. We had been guarding this intersection for two days straight trying to catch terrorists. We were about 25 hours into it and I had switched with my gunner so that he could take a break from the 50 caliber machine gun we had on our truck. The sunrise that morning was beautiful and I was just looking down the barrel of this huge gun when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. A little kid walking around this curve in the road, then another, then another. I pulled my head up to get a better look and I saw all the kids. Walking in a single file line, Elementary age kids with those back packs on. I almost shed a tear knowing that this was the first time in their lives that they were able to go to school.

After the war:

Well it takes about 2-3 months for the adrenaline to wear off. You are very numb while you are in the fighting and you don't realize the things that you saw over there affected you mentally and physically. One of my biggest problems after getting back was my anxiety issues. I could not handle large crowds or standing in line at grocery store. I would avoid that at all costs. I just could not understand why someone was upset in front me in line over a 50 cent coupon. For months I would just avoid going to the store. My buddy and I would turn to alcohol to help calm the nerves. And as everyone knows alcohol just increases your anxiety issues.

Another thing that I could not help was sleeping at night. For over a year we were running on very little rest. We would sleep for an hour or two here and there. When I got home I would go to sleep at 11 and wake up at midnight fully rested. Be tired all day and continue that routine all over again the next day. I would have terrible nightmares. In my dreams I would be in a gun battle and my rifle would jam or run out of ammo. Helplessness!! Caused by thinking I should have done more for the Iraqis. I was stubborn to ask for help. I didn't need it I was fine. I was a tough Army guy. We don't need help. We need to exercise and drive on!

After 6 months of not sleeping and having nightmares. I finally turned to my Mom and Dad. I needed something. I went to the family doctor and was prescribed anti anxiety medication and sleeping pills. I lasted a whole 3 days on those. The sleeping pills didn't work and the anti anxiety pills made it so much worse. So I turned to the VA. I was given a thorough examination and was diagnosed with Anxiety issues from Trauma and subclinical PTSD. The DR. gave me so many tools to help overcome all of my issues. I still see her about every 3 months and I will continue to use the VA for the rest of my life. I now have the best girlfriend ever and the loving support of her family. Combined with my family support system and church I am able to carry on as upstanding citizen. I am here to help anyone that may have questions about deployments and what you can do for your community and family.

Jayson Solberg is a writer for http://www.fitchristians.org where you can find information on Christian Fitness for free.

Jayson Solberg
dsm091@yahoo.com

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